Can You See Me?

This post doesn’t explain the world. It doesn’t take into account attributes of the world and explains the logic around it, the patterns. This post could be said with simple sentences like I already said them way too often in my other posts or on social media, like ‘What you focus on creates your reality perception.’ or ‘Nothing exists without context.’.

Nothing I write is brilliant or special by itself. These are just words. I sent them out with intent and yet have no control over their impact or what others will make out of them.

Just take the words of famous people that are known in history books and yet are already dead. The people that are alive always will take the words of famous people, cut and rephrase them in such a way that it fits their narrative. Take Jesus as an example. Maybe a great person who really knows nowadays. He may said to love each other. … Problem is people don’t even understand the same regarding what ‘love’ is. This language that we are using is so confusing. We claim to gain objectivity through it, or at least a group subjectivity. But all we get from language is an illusion of common understanding. Give me 5 minutes with your group and I will pick in a dozen holes, that’s reality.

We have adjectives and adverbs that describe how something is or does but it only tells us what subjective group you may belong to.

In any conflict, parties will describe themselves as the good ones that fight for justice and the others as the ones that don’t understand, worse can’t understand, worst must be annihilated.

What they have in common? To at least some part ignoring reality perception of the other one. Ignorance comes here not necessarily as an active act but a passive feature from their world view. People prefer to reject other world views than changing, adapting or extending their own one. Why? Hm… , can you see me? Or is this post a piece of shit for you? Even if you think to answer my question with ‘yes’, do you really see me, or are you projection your reality perception onto my words? You see it may not as easy as we like to think it is.

Now, what incentive would there be for conflicting parties to see each other? Especially if their world views tell them that they are so different from each other. People make the assumption that being vulnerable and open means that you will get hurt and that you are to blame because they assume that being vulnerable and open is the stupidest thing you can possibly do. And to be honest, I see where they come from. If you lived a life full of suffering where your perception told you exactly this that if you are vulnerable and open you will be hurt, it may makes sense to close up. To find one world view, one way of thinking to project onto the world, on others.

However, it makes me sad to realise this. Sad because it makes me realise that you restricted your life completely from making experiences in life. Basically, at this point you are already dead and you radiate death to the rest of the world.

Also, it makes me realise that you never learned that you can heal. If one bridge gets burned down, do you assume that all bridges in the world are burned down? Besides that being vulnerable and open doesn’t mean that you are defenceless or that being vulnerable and open is a binary. No. Ask anyone one who works in safety related topics. Safety consists of many layers.

Sure, nowadays it may appears to be strange that people tell stories of themselves on social media that they wouldn’t probably tell their co-workers or friends, at least not in this kind of way. However, for some it is a tool of self-reflection and destigmatisation of the topics they talk about and that’s something to honour I think.

Coming back to incentives for conflicting parties. I think something that people underestimate is how much resources it actually costs to be permanently in a state of being ready to fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Parties will reduce costs at any other position that isn’t about defence and attack. You want to see an example? Take a look at any state in the world. And if you can’t decide. Take the USA. Spending most of their budget on military while exploiting the own population and not giving them any good health care. They switch constantly between “yay, be proud of America, because we stand for ‘freedom'” but also “look at this other countries that are jealous of our ‘freedom’ and that want to take it away! Oh, how dangerous they are! We must defend ourselves.” Oh, and isn’t the saying that attack is the best defence?

Just take a look at books that handle topics of trauma in people. There the question is often of how can they get from a mode of surviving to a mode of thriving. How can they actually want to be alive again and not only live to ensure survival of others or other external reasons.

Sure, if we are constantly open even while we experience violence we won’t survive but the same goes if we totally encapsulate ourselves. We need to relearn to be adaptive. To learn about boundaries and defence but also about mercy and humanisation. We need to process our experiences not only as individuals but also as societies. Like, take a look at the stuff that hurts and admit that it is painful. Only then you may move forward in self-awareness.

If you take anything with you from this post I hope it is this. Observe the next days other people and ask yourself “Do they see me?” and “Do I see them?”. What would you need to experience to change the answers to the previous questions? … How does this perspective influence your interactions with others in general? Do you become more open or closed, or connected or lost?

P.S.
Originally I thought of referencing my post about faith because it is deeply connected with the illusion of structure and control that we can seek in life but I didn’t as this just is a one-write-down.

“Brief” posts are much shorter posts and don’t try to explain every thought but try to paint a picture.
They are statements and open questions to the reader and not discussions.
“Brief” is the German word for “letter” and English word for “short”. If you speak it out loud, you realise it sound phonetically identical to “breathe”. So, take these “Brief” posts as something to consume, reflect and relax. As a distraction from your daily life.