Brief: My Lightning and Thunder

A brief metaphor of how I would describe the experience of emotions and feelings:

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Feelings are like a thunderstorm for me. I see the lightning but I don’t know when and how heavy the thunder will appear, how close the storm is.

My surrounding told me that there is no thunderstorm while I could clearly perceive it. That’s why I learned to dissociate.

I learned to put in earplugs when I saw a lightning. And because the lightning alone wasn’t scary I may even learned to blend them out.

However, from time to time I wondered why my house and body were on fire.

Today I know that this meant that the thunderstorm did hit me and I wasn’t prepared for it. This is what happens when your feelings don’t get validated and reflected and you start to blend them out.

Step by step, I learn to give attention to the lightning again. To put out my earplugs. To be aware of what the storm tells me and prepare for it. Take precautions.

Sometimes it still hits me but I see the connections and can improve the validation and regulation of my emotions.

In the end I learn to love all kind of weather and see it for what it is, messengers for whether I am safe here or not.

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“Brief” posts are much shorter posts and don’t try to explain every thought but try to paint a picture.
They are statements and open questions to the reader and not discussions.
“Brief” is the German word for “letter” and English word for “short”. If you speak it out loud, you realise it sound phonetically identical to “breathe”. So, take these “Brief” posts as something to consume, reflect and relax. As a distraction from your daily life.